Want to reinvent yourself? Let John R. Miles be your guide
by Timothy Pike
If you could reinvent yourself from the ground up, what’s the first thing you would change?
Would you end a bad habit? Spend less time on social media? Focus more on pursuing your biggest dream?
Whatever your answer, the key to making big changes in your life is intentionality, which means making choices that align with what you truly want.
So how do you do this?
The answer comes to us ready-made—in the form of a book—courtesy of bestselling author and speaker John R. Miles. That book, Passion Struck: Twelve Powerful Principles to Unlock Your Purpose and Ignite Your Most Intentional Life, also inspired a podcast of the same name.
“Our deepest regrets,” John says, “stem from unexplored passions, unchased dreams, and undeveloped talents.” To prove this, a study was conducted and found that when people had regrets, they were not about mistakes they’d made, but instead about not doing the things they’d wanted to do.
In other words, we’re all capable of so much more, and we know it.
If you feel like you’re always bouncing around from one thing to the next (living a “pinball life,” as John calls it), then the principles of Passion Struck can help you regain control over your life and focus on getting to where you want to be.
“This involves setting clear, actionable goals and taking deliberate steps each day to achieve them,” John explains.
Of course, everyone has different goals, but let’s be real: how great would it feel to finally publish that novel and get that first glowing review? Just saying.
In my interview with him, John explains what you can do right now, today to start that big change in your life, why your calendar and bank statements are the most accurate reflections of your priorities, and how mosquitos—the deadliest animals on the planet, mind you—often come to us in human form.
Tim: Welcome, John. In your new book, you talk about “intentionality,” saying it’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised. What is intentionality, and how does exercising it help us create the life we’ve always wanted?
John: Intentionality, as discussed in Passion Struck, is the deliberate exercise of aligning our daily actions with our deepest values, ambitions, and aspirations to mold the life we truly desire. It’s about making conscious choices that propel us toward our ideal selves, rather than leaving our path to chance or external influences. It’s like a muscle in that it requires regular exercise to strengthen and develop. Each intentional action we take reinforces our ability to direct our lives toward meaningful outcomes, rather than leaving our path to chance or external influences.
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The power of exercising intentionality can be best understood through the lens of regret. As Mark Twain famously said, “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.” This sentiment is echoed in the 2018 Cornell University research study led by psychologist Tom Gilovich, which found that a staggering seventy-six percent of participants regretted not fulfilling their ideal self more than any specific mistakes they made. This research underscores that our deepest regrets stem from unexplored passions, unchased dreams, and undeveloped talents—essentially, from a failure to live intentionally.
By strengthening our intentionality muscle, we make choices that are not only reactive to our current situation but proactive toward creating the future we desire. This involves setting clear, actionable goals and taking deliberate steps each day to achieve them. The more we practice this, the more adept we become at overcoming obstacles and seizing opportunities that align with our aspirations.
In Passion Struck, I advocate for transforming these regrets into actionable plans that propel us toward our ideal selves. This transformation requires a disciplined approach to life where every decision, every action, and every moment of reflection brings us closer to the life we envision for ourselves. Through intentional living, we not only avoid the pitfall of living a life of “what ifs” and “should haves,” but we also pave the way for a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and joy. This is the essence of creating the life we’ve always wanted—one intentional step at a time.
Our deepest regrets stem from unexplored passions, unchased dreams, and undeveloped talents—essentially, from a failure to live intentionally.
Passion Struck is really like a blueprint for personal growth and living the life you’ve always wanted. What are the steps you lay out for readers?
The Passion Struck model is a comprehensive approach to personal growth, built upon the synergistic interplay between mindset shifts, behavior shifts, and the action-oriented psychology of progress (deliberate action). When mindset, behavior, and deliberate action are driven by intrinsic motivation (fueled by passion, perseverance, and intentionality) and imbued with a sense of mattering, they produce a passion-struck life.
The Passion Struck model has four pillars:
1. Mindset Shifts. In part one, “Mindset Shifts: How the Self-Realizer Needs to Think,” I discuss the building blocks of how passion-struck luminaries create an intentional mindset. The first step in our journey toward transformation begins by reshaping our mindset, a step illuminated by the virtue of wisdom. This passion-driven wisdom paves the way for new actions, establishing a foundation for significant change. It profoundly influences and molds our beliefs and values, clarifying our why and influencing how we approach challenges and opportunities. This fundamental change in perspective, deeply rooted in passion, is crucial for setting the stage for subsequent shifts in behavior, deliberate action, and intrinsic motivation, ensuring a more dynamic and heartfelt transformation.
I break down the mindset shifts into the following six steps through personal examples and by telling stories of the luminaries themselves based on interviews, conversations, and research.
- Mission Angler: Mustering the power to do something great
- Brand Reinventor: Never being afraid to reinvent yourself
- Mosquito Auditor: Avoiding the most dangerous animal on the planet
- Fear Confronter: Realizing you are your biggest competitor
- Perspective Harnesser: Zooming out and tapping into its power
- Action Creator: Permit yourself to dream the dream
2. Behavior Shifts. In section two, “Behavior Shifts: How the Self-Realizer Needs to Take Action,” I discuss the behavior changes those desiring to become passion struck need to take. Once our mindset has been recalibrated, the next logical progression is a shift in behavior, where the role of perseverance becomes crucial. Our behavior, the what, is a direct reflection of our mindset, dictating how we act in pursuit of our goals. The integration of perseverance into this behavioral shift is fundamental in making our transformed mindset actionable. It is through perseverance that the principles of self-mastery are actualized, guaranteeing that our actions are not only consistent but also resiliently aligned with our aspirations and values.
When it comes to fueling your passion, I explain why it has a snowball effect. The more consistent, coordinated action a person takes toward their goal, the more fuel they’ll create for their passion. The key here is a drive for results, especially as they make the vital commitment to their journey.
I distill these in the following steps:
- Anxiety Optimizer: Find how to be on edge without going off the edge
- Originality Embracer: Realize originality necessitates adaptability
- Boundary Magnifier: Understand that sometimes being right means being alone
- Outward Inspirer: Speak (or act) with your feet
- Gardner Leader: Practice eyes-on, hands-off leadership
- Conscious Engager: Keep the main thing the main thing
3. Deliberate Action. In section three, “The Psychology of Progress,” I discuss how to unleash the Passion Struck framework. Action plays a vital, non-linear role in the intertwined processes of reshaping our mindset and behaviors, acting as both a driver and outcome of these transformations. Through repetition, actions evolve into habits, seamlessly integrating into our behavior as our brain’s neural pathways adapt, making these actions more automatic.
This process is guided by immediate feedback, where positive outcomes reinforce behaviors and negative ones prompt reassessment. Importantly, it’s not merely about having the courage to act but also about the strategic intent behind every action. This blend of boldness and intention directs our decisions on when and where to act, aligning our actions with our goals. In this way, action is an integral part of our personal evolution, constantly refining our mindset and reshaping our behaviors, fostering continuous growth and adaptation.
4. Intrinsic Motivation. In the Passion Struck model, intrinsic motivation acts as the cohesive glue linking mindset, behavior, and deliberate action. This internal drive fuels our journey toward a life filled with passion and purpose, moving beyond the need for external validation, and it deeply embeds a sense of mattering within us—the feeling of being significant and valued.
This sense of mattering anchors us to our why, energizing our pursuit of goals with relentless determination. This inner spark not only influences how we persevere through challenges, but also steadfastly guides our mindset shifts, informs our behavioral changes, and directs our deliberate actions, ensuring a harmonious and resilient progression toward our objectives.
One crucial strategy that significantly accelerated my success was focusing on building a robust personal brand.
Tim: You host an award-winning podcast of the same name, Passion Struck. Was the podcast the inspiration for your book?
John: It’s an interesting twist, actually—the book inspired the podcast, not the other way around.
Initially, I approached over eighty agents with my proposal and repeatedly faced rejections, with feedback pointing to my lack of a personal brand as a barrier, despite my background as a business executive and CEO.
Faced with the Covid-19 pandemic, traditional routes like public speaking were not viable for testing the book’s concepts. This led me to launch the Passion Struck podcast as a platform to engage directly with an audience and validate the resonance of the ideas I wanted to share. The podcast’s success, with over forty million downloads, proved the appeal and relevance of these concepts.
This overwhelming response provided the evidence I needed to secure a literary agent and ultimately led to the publication of the book. In a twist of fate, the podcast, which was born out of necessity, became a cornerstone of the book’s success.
Having the podcast significantly enhanced the final quality of the book. It allowed me to incorporate insights and wisdom from interviews with behavioral scientists, psychologists, and other experts, enriching the content and providing a more well-rounded perspective.
Tim: Which three podcast guests stand out most in your mind?
John: We are up to over 440 episodes of the podcast, and there have been so many phenomenal interviews that it is very hard to limit this to just three. Among the many distinguished guests on Passion Struck, there are a few who stand out not just for their accomplishments, but for the profound impact they’ve had on both the audience and myself: Susan Cain, Chris Cassidy, Angela Duckworth, and particularly my sister Carolyn. Each brought unique insights and deeply personal stories that resonated with our listeners.
Susan Cain, the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Quiet and Bittersweet, was one of the first high-profile guests to appear on the podcast. Her decision to join us in the early days of Passion Struck provided a significant credibility boost that paved the way for other thought leaders like Seth Godin, Gretchen Rubin, Gabby Bernstein, Rachel Hollis, Robin Sharma, and Jamie Kern Lima, whose insights into the power of introverts and the beauty found in life’s bittersweet moments enriched our discussions, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on personal growth and self-acceptance.
Astronaut and former Navy SEAL Chris Cassidy stands out for his inspirational life story, which intertwines bravery, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to pursuing one’s dreams. I’ve known Chris since we were both midshipmen at the Naval Academy, making it all the more special to interview him about his journey to becoming the commander of the International Space Station for Expedition 63. His candid reflections on the challenges and triumphs of life in space and the intentional decisions that guided his path were truly out of this world.
Angela Duckworth’s work on grit and self-control has been transformative for many, including myself. Having her share her expertise on the podcast was an honor, as she delved into the psychology of perseverance and how it shapes our ability to overcome obstacles and achieve long-term goals. Her participation brought a scholarly depth to our exploration of what it takes to lead a passion-struck life.
Lastly, the episode featuring my sister Carolyn holds a special place in my heart. As she bravely battles pancreatic cancer, her strength and grace in discussing the latest treatments and research on the podcast were profoundly moving. It was a reminder of the personal stakes involved in our discussions of health and resilience, and her warrior spirit was incredibly inspiring to all who heard her story.
Each of these guests brought their unique flavor of inspiration and insight to the Passion Struck podcast, helping to illuminate the myriad ways we can all strive to live more intentional, meaningful lives. Their stories are testaments to the power of human potential and the extraordinary results of living passionately and purposefully.
Tim: Who are the “human mosquitos” in our lives?
John: In Passion Struck, I explore the concept of “human mosquitos,” a metaphor for the invisible and often insidious forces that can shape our behaviors and hinder our progress. These are the individuals in our lives whose actions and attitudes subtly drain our energy, challenge our boundaries, and disrupt our pursuit of our goals—much like the mosquito, which is surprisingly the most deadly animal on the planet despite its innocuous appearance.
I categorize these detrimental influences into three types:
1. The Bloodsucker. This type is the boundary destroyer. They intrude into your personal and professional space, making demands on your time and energy without regard for your limits. They often leave you feeling undermined by questioning your decisions or offering unsolicited advice.
2. The Invisible Suffocator. Typically pessimistic, this person permeates your environment with negativity. Their constant complaining can dampen morale, affecting everyone’s mood and productivity, especially in team settings or social gatherings.
3. The PITAs (Pains In The Ass). They thrive on drama and conflict, stirring up disputes and gossip that lead to tension and discomfort in both your personal life and at work.
Understanding these dynamics is crucial for maintaining your wellbeing and productivity. Identifying your limits—recognizing what behaviors drain you or what situations you find stressful—is the first step. Acknowledge these limits as legitimate—they reflect your values, work style, and personal needs, and they deserve respect and protection. Setting and enforcing boundaries based on this understanding is essential in mitigating the effects of human mosquitos and reclaiming your energy and focus for more positive interactions and outcomes.
Tim: What is a “pinball life,” and why do you warn against it?
John: Living a “pinball life” is far from ideal. This metaphor captures the essence of how too many people navigate their existence—reactively bouncing from one situation to the next, like a pinball ricocheting inside a machine. While playing actual pinball can be entertaining, leading a life that mimics this game is anything but. Unlike living “on autopilot,” where there is at least a direction or a plan, living a pinball life means bouncing from one situation to the next without any clear purpose, guided merely by external forces and immediate reactions.
In a pinball machine, the ball has no control over its path; it merely responds to the flippers and obstacles it encounters. Similarly, when people lead pinball lives, they move through their days reacting to external stimuli without proactive engagement or strategic thinking. This way of living might keep them busy, but it seldom leads to meaningful achievement or satisfaction.
This concept aligns with the troubling findings from Gallup, which found that 900 million people across 142 countries feel unfulfilled. Such individuals are not actively steering their lives toward their goals but are instead letting life happen to them. This staggering number isn’t just a statistic, it’s a collective cry for a shift away from unintentional living and toward a life of meaningful engagement and purpose.
Moreover, the pinball life is exacerbated by our increasing reliance on technology, which can lead to constant distraction. Smartphones and social media can divert attention from important personal goals and reduce face-to-face interactions, replacing meaningful connections with superficial engagements. This digital distraction contributes to a lifestyle where individuals might feel busy yet unproductive, connected yet lonely, and active yet directionless.
Understanding the dangers of a pinball life underscores the importance of living intentionally. It’s about making conscious choices that align with personal values and long-term goals, rather than merely reacting to life’s challenges.
My aim with Passion Struck is to shift this paradigm. The book is a call to action for individuals to reclaim control of their lives, engage with their daily choices intentionally, and create a life filled with purpose, value, and fulfillment. Rather than being passive observers in their own lives, it encourages readers to become active participants, making conscious decisions that align with their deepest values and long-term goals. By doing so, we can transform the erratic, aimless pinball life into a strategic, intentional journey toward our best selves. This is the essence of becoming passion struck: replacing the chaotic, aimless drift of a pinball life with a deliberate and fulfilling journey toward the best version of oneself.
Tim: Could you share a challenge you encountered in your own life, and talk about how you overcame it?
John: Certainly. One of the most significant challenges I faced occurred during my tenure in the military and later in my executive career, dealing with the aftermath of multiple traumatic brain injuries. The first major injury happened in a childhood accident, and later, more severely, from a rocket-propelled grenade explosion while on active duty. These incidents resulted in cognitive impairments, chronic migraines, and other debilitating symptoms that profoundly impacted my ability to function in everyday life and professional settings.
Overcoming this challenge required immense perseverance and adaptability. I engaged intensively in various therapies, learned to leverage technology to assist with cognitive functions, and adopted meticulous organizational strategies to manage my responsibilities effectively. Perhaps most crucially, I embraced vulnerability, allowing me to seek help and communicate my limitations transparently to colleagues and superiors, which fostered a supportive environment.
This journey of recovery and adaptation not only helped me to continue my career but also deeply informed my understanding of resilience and transformation—themes that are central to my book and overall mission with Passion Struck. By sharing these experiences, I aim to inspire others to face their challenges with courage, and to recognize that, with the right strategies and support, overcoming formidable obstacles is not only possible but can also be a catalyst for profound personal growth and purpose discovery.
Tim: Books & Buzz Magazine is all about finding ways to break out as an author. This involves some trial and error, but it’s much easier when we hear advice from those who have already found success in their own careers. What one thing propelled you faster toward success in your field than anything else?
John: One crucial strategy that significantly accelerated my success was focusing on building a robust personal brand. Early in my journey, I faced numerous rejections and was often told my lack of a recognizable personal brand was a barrier. To overcome this, I decided to actively cultivate my brand by creating and sharing content that resonated with my core messages about intentional living and personal mastery.
I leveraged various platforms to publish my insights, connect with an audience, and engage with industry leaders, which not only validated my ideas but also refined them. This approach helped me establish a strong presence that aligned with my professional goals and resonated deeply with my target audience. As my brand grew, so did my opportunities for collaborations and engagements, proving that investing in your personal brand is one of the most effective ways to propel your career forward. This strategy is what I’d recommend to any author looking to break out and achieve lasting success in their field.
Tim: Can you leave us with something we can do right now—today—to start that big change in our lives and notice some results?
John: To begin transforming your life today, start by reassessing what you prioritize as important versus what you react to as urgent. A profound yet simple step to create this change is through self-reflection on your habits and where you direct your attention.
An insightful way to gauge what truly occupies your time and resources is to examine your bank statements and calendar. These can reveal the stark realities of your daily life and what you prioritize. They reflect not just your financial expenditures but also how you allocate the most non-renewable resource—time.
Review your activities over the past few months through your calendar. Rather than planning your next immediate task, deeply question how you’ve been prioritizing your time. Ask yourself: Are the tasks I’m busy with truly essential? How do these activities align with my long-term goals? Am I merely reacting to what seems urgent at the moment?
By identifying these patterns, you can consciously decide to shift your focus toward what is genuinely important: activities that align with your deepest values and long-term aspirations. This shift involves choosing to engage in tasks that build toward your desired future, rather than being caught in the cycle of immediate, often less-significant, demands.
Making this shift is essential for anyone aiming to live intentionally and with purpose. It’s about focusing on what truly matters, enabling you to lead a more directed and meaningful life.
John R. Miles is the visionary behind Passion Struck®, a platform dedicated to empowering individuals to live intentionally and achieve their highest potential. A former U.S. Navy officer and Fortune 50 executive, John is now a bestselling, award-winning author, sought-after speaker, and host of the top-ranked Passion Struck podcast, with over 25 million downloads. His work focuses on helping people unlock their purpose, overcome life’s challenges, and embrace transformation. Through his teachings, John inspires others to lead lives marked by growth, impact, and personal fulfillment, making profound contributions to both their communities and the wider world.
Be sure to visit John’s website, check out his podcast, and connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads.