April 2024

Is it better to write alone or with friends?

Itua Uduebo

This author got more than he expected by joining a group of writers at a local coffee shop.

by Itua Uduebo

We’ve all been there before, all had that same experience. Alone in that room or part of the house that’s the only place anything ever gets done, clicking away at the keyboard. Pets, partners, kids if you have them, somewhere else, away from the productivity center. Environments that lack distractions allow writers to put the ultimate focus into their best work, and most of the time that comes with a certain level of solitude.

Writing communities are a major part of plenty of writers’ journeys. The networking and support we get from them make us all feel less crazy as we go over the same page for the eighth time after an hour of looking up arcane information for world-building purposes. The problem is that they’re usually online and not local enough to take them off the web and into the nearest cafĂ© to discuss pitch querying over oat milk lattes.

There are many logistical challenges to building communities of writers in many locations (distance, finding a time, accessibility, etc.), and writing about all the reasons you should go outside and make in-real-life writer friends isn’t going to help anybody. All that said, I had an experience recently that made me feel fortunate that I’ve found a writing nook outside of my home, and if it’s worth anything, then I hope it gives you a little motivation to see what’s out there.


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I live by myself with a dog, and I have a nice new desk, an overly expensive tea set, and noise-canceling headphones. But I just haven’t been able to feel settled all the time. After eight hours of the office job and the required pet parenting, TikToks at the dog park seem more appealing. TV shows, news articles to digest, mostly-edible dinners to whip up (just got a Crock-Pot last week, lifesaver) and just general adulting to do.


Sometimes rekindling the flame can be as easy as seeing another person’s light flicker.


I was feeling like I had everything I needed and finding ways to not be productive. Feeling the rut set in, I decided to poke around the internet and see if there were any writing meetup groups I could join. A few Google runs later, I found a crew that met in a little coffee shop on the far side of the neighborhood on a weekday when I’m required to come in for work. These were discouragements, but I could feel the density of the blank pages and had to try getting that weight off.

My hope was a group of writers I could talk about ideas with, a quiet space to work, and maybe a drink or two after. What I found was a granddaughter working through her papa’s scattered memories to piece together a spy thriller, grad students putting together years of research into a few dozen pages, and a man writing something to help kids like his nephew, who was going through anxiety. I found stories through conversation, I learned about these storytellers and researchers and their crafts. I got inspired by people who were looking for inspiration and were just as desperate to break out of their ruts as I was. I felt less alone, yes, but I also felt like I could get back to the place where I found the joy in solitary writing. Sometimes rekindling that flame can be as easy as seeing another person’s light flicker.

Social writing helps us reconnect to the core truth of the art: anyone can do it, everyone should do it, and all stories are valuable. Groups like this put you in rooms with people who are looking for the same things you are, in ways so different that they help you find your own path. They’re hard to find, and difficult to organize, and maybe you’re just not in a position for that right now in your life. That’s fine, and it just means you’ll find what you need some other way, but sometimes nothing beats a full room of blank pages (and oat milk lattes).


Itua Uduebo was born in Lagos, Nigeria, graduated from Georgetown University with a degree in international politics, and resides in New York, NY, currently working in the financial technology industry. His writing journey began in his college years, and to date, he has several essays, articles, freeform poems, and short stories published online and in print. Itua’s focuses are new adult fiction, urban literature, science fiction, thrillers, politics, racial justice, culture, and global affairs. He is currently working on his second novel manuscript and always looking to take on new creative challenges.

Find Itua online at his website, and connect with him on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

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